Why men don’t men practice self-care although all of us would agree during this time of the Covid-19 pandemic self-care is crucial . There can be many reasons for this :
Have you heard the toxic saying?
“Man up, suck it up, be a man , you’re such a whim always moaning about how you are feeling just get on with it like I do“
So, we hold it all inside and slowly self-destruct inside until some rash action is taken. I.e getting drunk, getting into a fight, harming ones self.
However, would you not agree that after the horrendous year of 2020 with this pandemic affecting the whole world and seeing daily death tools, male self-care is vital if you are to survive and flourish in 2021 and beyond and it’s essential during this pandemic.
Firstly, what is self-care? Why is it important for you to practice self-care? Why don’t men practice self-care? What has been the result for us men?
1 What is Self-Care
There are many definitions of Self-Care. Here are two I quite like:
The WHO 1998 definition:
Self-Care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness . It is a broad concept encompassing hygiene (general and personal), nutrition (type and quality of food eaten), lifestyle (sporting activities, leisure etc), environmental factors (living conditions, social habits, etc.) socio-economic factors (income level, cultural beliefs, etc.) and self-medication.’
BMI Healthcare definition 2020:
Self-care is the practice of consciously doing things that preserve or improve your mental or physical health .These days, when people talk about self-care they are generally talking about the conscious and deliberate choice to do something that looks after you and your well-being. This covers the mental and the physical, and a regime of self-care should improve the way you feel in body and mind.
So, we can see from the above there is both a physical and mental aspect to self-care. It’s also a conscious decision to take actions that improve our personal self-care.
For example, going for a walk or a run every day during the lockdowns or increasing our vegetable and fruit intake with every meal . On the mental health side, it may be making a positive choice to ring a friend and talk to them about how down or depressed we’re feeling . Talking about the problems we are battling with.
2 Why is it important for you to practice self-care?
Self cares vital for our physical health. We are told daily that the population has put on weight during the lockdown . In fact, we on average put on half a stone during lockdown. Even before the pandemic, the UK was facing a major obesity problem.
The top five issues that take the majority of lives in the UK are as follows:
- Heart disease
- Respiratory disease – asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease
- Strokes
- Cancers
- Liver disease
Many of these diseases are affected by diet, exercise, over drinking of alcohol, issues of being overweight, smoking. This is not a complete list but gives you an overview of the reasons.
Some of these health issues can be improved or resolved if we had put in place a regime of self- care and really valued ourselves because sometimes that is what is behind the issue of a lack of self-care. You may need to reduce meats and carbohydrates intake and increase your plant-based intake.
There are lots of plant-based recipes we could try. What about a chick-pea curry.
Attached is plant-based cookbook
3 Why don’t men practice self-care?
So, this is the big question. Do you believe men practice self-care less than women and why don’t men practice self-care. Some of the reasons maybe as follows
- Pride
Many men find it hard to admit they are struggling either with a physical condition or with their mental health. We prefer to “man up and just push through the problem and make the best of it “ . The only problem is when you do not care for yourself the stress of life builds up and we become a pressure cooker ready to blow or to breakdown
- Inability to communicate our feelings
Men have grown up with holding on to their thoughts and feelings and keeping it to themselves. We will try to resolve the problem in our heads and don’t discuss our problems with our partners or anyone else.
- Upbringing-It was never a discussion anyone had in the family
“My father didn’t do it, my friends don’t so why should I bother about this self-care stuff”. This can be the thought process of some men when they hear the words self-care
- Self-care is seen as something for women and not what men do
Some men believe self-care is something for women. Saunas, massage, self-care Sundays are all foreign subjects to some men. So, its dismissed as something they don’t need. Only self-care is not synonymous to spa days, which further shows that men do not truly understand the meaning of ‘self-care’.

- work is the priority
Due to the pandemic, work pressures have increased. Therefore, you may be putting more hours in at work. Working at home also means you are constantly on call from your boss.
4 What has been the effect and results for men?
We will discuss this in part 2 of – Why men don’t men practice Self-Care
PLEASE CLICK SUBSCRIBE – I am writing a another blog and I need help in finding out the reasons why men do not get involved in self-care. Please comment below both women and men.
What do you think are the reasons?


